How do I put this nicely?
I’m sick of being stuck together. Oh, wait. That wasn’t nice at all, was it?
Let’s face it, guys, enough is enough. I’ve put up with your trouble for years and years now, my whole life as a matter of fact, and I’m saying now: I’m done. We’re through.
How can you pretend you don’t know what this is about? Do you really think I’m so naive? We all know that this is about Food Processor.
Alright, alright. In all fairness, Two Left Feet were notÂ technicallyÂ involved in the Incident with Food Processor, but don’t think I don’t know that you two aren’t getting Butterfingers all riled up. And you didn’t exactly do anything to help with the situation, did you?
What do you mean, you don’t know what I’m talking about? Food Processor isn’t gonna make it, and you know who is to blame for that. One minute, everything is just hunky dory, and the next, Food Processor is slipping from your grasp, Butterfingers, crashing to the tiles with a clatter and a crack. Meanwhile, you, Two Left Feet, are running for cover to protect your precious toes! I don’t want to hear about how fragile they are, Feet. Food Processor has a serious bowl fracture that can’t be repaired, and his heart isn’t expected to make it through another operation.
What exactly do you expect me to do without Food Processor? Oh, noooow you’re silent. Now you have nothing to sa- What’s that?Â MyÂ fault?! How can possibly blame this oneÂ me?
I’m a what?! A… klutz!? How dare you?! I’m only a klutz because I’ve been dealing with you all of my life! I thought, for a while there, that things has settled down. You guys didn’t get me burned as I was placing things in the oven, or taking them out. Feet, you haven’t caused me to trip over thin air in months! I really thought things were on the rise, but then you go and kill poor Food Processor. Yes, kill. Now you feel bad, huh? It’s a little late.
Have any of you even bothered to apologize to Food Processor? I thought not.Â Well, here, take him some of the hazelnut sandies he assisted in making before the Incident. And for Heaven’s sake, do NOT mention New Food Processor who is waiting to clear the cart at Amazon.
Before you go, though, let’s get one thing straight. We’re clearly lifers…this “partnership” doesn’t seem to have an end in sight, so how about you at least try to minimize the damage in the future, huh? ‘Cause Butterfingers, those Gryffindor mittens you want so bad aren’t gonna buy themselves. Don’t bother snickering under your breath, Feet, I know about your obsession with pretty shoes. I’ve got my eyes on you, too. And don’t think I won’t hold back on the glitter polish. From both of you.
The last cookies that Food Processor helped me make, and I gotta say…what a way to go. These are so delicious for being so simple and easy. Admittedly, they’re not exactlyÂ sandy, not like the name suggests, but they still have this sort of crispy, shortbread-ish quality that I think still defines them as sandies. Besides, when they’re this yummalicious, who cares if they’re sandy, or not? They get better, though…
…just like everything does, when you add chocolate. After these were finished (and about half of them had been eaten), I was struck with wishing I’d had a little chocolate with them too. Easy fix. I melted a little semi-sweet chocolate (I did about 4 ounces for about one-third of the cookies), and dipped the cookies right in.
Dip a side. Dip two sides…dip all three! Maybe just dip the very bottom of the cookie, whatevs, it’s your call. In the end, the Hubster and I preferred the bottom, one side, and two side dipped cookies, while the boy liked the ones with as much chocolate as possible.
Then drizzle and draw away. I striped a couple of the cookies that had their bottoms dipped too. They ended up looking like those stripey cookies you can get at the grocery store. Except these tasted loads better.
These little cookies (with or without the added goodness of chocolate) are so perfect with a hot cuppa tea or dark espresso…or even a tall glass of ice cold milk. They only took about three minutes to mix up and shape (unless you have to prepare your hazelnuts), and after chill times and baking, you’ve got fresh, delicious cookies in less than an hour. Even if you dip them in chocolate, you really only have to add 20 to 30 minutes set up time (if you speed the process by sticking them in the fridge). Either way, you’re in for a treat. Enjoy!
Hazelnut Sandies [Printable Version]
Makes about 3 dozen
1 1/2 cups toasted and skinned hazelnuts, coarsely chopped*
1/4 cup (31 grams) confectioners’ sugar
1/2 cup (127 grams) brown sugar, packed
1 1/2 cups (200 grams) all-purpse flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks or 170 grams) cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2″ chunks
1 egg yolk
Pulse the chopped hazelnuts in a food processor until ground. Add the flour, both sugars, and salt and pulse until combined. Evenly distribute the butter pieces over the dry ingredients, and pulse until the mixture resembles wet sand. While the processor is running, add the egg yolk and mix until the dough forms a ball.
Divide the dough in half and shape each into a log about 12-inches long. Wrap each log in plastic wrap and chill in the freezer for about 30 minutes.
Once chilled, preheat oven to 325 degrees (165 C). Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or Silpat mats.
Remove the cookie dough from the freezer, unwrap, and slice into 1/2 – 3/4″ thick slices. Place on prepared baking sheets, about 1 1/2″ apart. Bake until golden brown, about 22 to 24 minutes. Transfer to a wire cooling rack and cool completely before serving.
If desired, dip the cooled cookies in melted chocolate and let harden before serving.
*To prepare hazelnuts, preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread hazelnuts on a rimmed baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes. Wrap the hot hazelnuts in a clean, dry dish towel, and let sit for 5 minutes. Rub the hazelnuts vigorously inside the towel to brush the skins away, making sure to remove at least 50% of them.
Recipe adapted from Baking Illustrated