I had a particularly vicious and taxing spider run-in yesterday.
I’ve told you of my fear of spiders in the past, but I want to make it absolutely clear: mine is a regularly-wake-from-nightmares-of-killer-spiders-dangling-over-my-face, hubster-talking-me-down-from-my-paralytic-terror-in-the-night kind of fear. It’s a won’t relax in the hammock, won’t walk first on a trail, what’s that spot on the wall, kill it, kill it, KILL ALL THE SPIDERS kind of fear. Basically, it’s full on arachnophobia. Get it?
Now, back to my war story.
It’s a long and violent tale, but one that must be told.
It started out as a disgusting and creepy nuisance, but quickly escalated to an all out case of heeby jeeby, skin crawling warfare.
I had food to photograph yesterday, and my house has this one great spot for gorgeous natural lighting that I try to take advantage of whenever possible, but on this particular occasion, the area was barred by what can only be described as a massive, spiky spider.
It was hanging outside of one of the French doors where I shoot my photos. Yes, I said outside, and yes, that was enough to stop me. Hello?! Why would I willingly stand that close to a (particularly ugly) spider, where I can see it and we’re only separated by a single pane of glass?!
Plus, I open the doors while I’m shooting.
I don’t look so crazy now, do I? (Wait. Don’t answer that. Ever.)
Anyway, I tried waiting until the Hubster got home, but I really needed to work; I knew I was going to have to wage war alone. I generally try to avoid this, and will only do it as a last resort, i.e. home alone, being stalked by a jerk with eight legs.
I planned to go around and try to kill the sinister bastard outside somehow, when I discovered…it was gone.
Spare me the, “It’s outside, you’ll be fine!” bit, because I knew better. This is a spider we’re talking about here, people. It was obviously up to something.
I had no choice, though. I unbolted the door, turned the knob, and threw it open quickly, trying to beat a hasty retreat to the opposite side of the room. I wasn’t quick enough, though. It was RIGHT. THERE.Â Eye level.
And it had called in back up. I’m not even joking right now. It had a friend, all scrunched up in the corner, trying to act like I couldn’t see it.
I had my back against the kitchen table. I wanted to get further away, but I couldn’t move my legs. Or eyes. You think I’m joking here, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of them, for fear they’d move in. I. Couldn’t. Move.
I followed the only course of action left to me…I reached back onto the table and grabbed my phone to call the Hubster. Here’s something interesting: he’s never heard the shaky, high pitched scream-squealing that I am powerless to stop myself from making while battling arachnids. Obviously. Because I’m only forced to do so when I’m home alone.
He walked me through a little known, yet highly effective Windex-broom-hose stratagem that left me with a heavy case of PTSD, particularly after the scrunched up “smaller” spider lurched from its camped out position into full-on battle mode and showed itself to be the larger of the two. Much larger. It could only be described as a mutant.
I actually cried. Like, real tears, running down my face.
Nevertheless, the Alliance was defeated, and this Browncoat lived to fight another day (but hopefully won’t have to any time soon).
As for the sounds of terror and ear piercing fright, the Hubster said he still hasn’t heard them because “phones don’t pick up that frequency.”
I ate the last slice of his Biscoff pie for that.
The idea for this pie comes solely from the Hubster. I probably should have saved that last slice as a thank you for helping me defeat the creepy crawlies treat, but…I didn’t.
Shortly after he returned home from overseas, I went to make a new, yummy Biscoff treat (you might remember the Nutella-Biscoffy snickerdoodles I made). When I started gathering my ingredients together, I couldn’t find the Biscoff spread. This was confusing, because I don’t really like the spred too much on its own, and I thought the Kiddo didn’t either. Apparently, I was wrong, because he’d eaten the whole darn jar.
Except he hadn’t.
The Hubster had.
Turns out he loves the stuff. He particularly loves it on Nabisco Famous Wafers (which he’d also depleted).
What else could I do, but take the Hubster’s new favorite snack and turn it into a scrumptious, easy to make pie? You’re right. Nothing. There was nothing else I could have done. Thank goodness.
Cause this thing is amazing.
While I make the filling, I like to chill the crust in the fridge. This will reharden the butter and make the crust a little more secure for the addition of the filling.
The filling consists of cream cheese, Biscoff spread, confectioners’ sugar, and whipped cream. After combining the cream cheese, Biscoff, and sugar, the mixture may look slightly curdled or broken, but once you fold the whipped cream in, it will become smooth and glossy, like the photo above.
I chose to crush some Biscoff cookies and sprinkle them on top, along with sweet vermicelli chocolate sprinkles. I like the little extra crunch from the cookies, and the subtle addition of more chocolate from the sprinkles.
This was fast to make, even making everything from scratch, but if you need to save even more time, you can use a pre-made pie crust and store bought whipped cream. The pie only took about 20 minutes to make, and needs to chill for a few hours before serving, so you could easily make this in advance. It also keeps beautifully overnight. Enjoy!
Biscoff Cream Pie
Makes one 9-inch pie
FOR THE CRUST
1 1/2 cups, about 30 Nabisco Famous Wafers (grams) chocolate cookie crumbs
5 tablespoons butter, melted
FOR THE FILLING
6 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1 cup Biscoff spread
3/4 cup confectioners’ sugar
2 cups whipped cream (recipe below), plus 2 more cups whipped cream for the topping, or 2 8-ounce containers Cool Whip, thawed
FOR THE WHIPPED CREAM (filling and topping)
2 cups heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
To make the crust: In a small bowl, combine the cookie crumbs and butter until thoroughly mixed.
Press the mixture firmly into a 9-inch pie plate; chill in the refrigerator while making the filling.
To make the filling: In a large bowl, or the bowl of a standing mixer, beat the cream cheese until smooth. Stir in the Biscoff spread and mix until thoroughly combined. Add the confectioners’ sugar, mixing will. The mixture will look slightly curdled at this point. Set aside and make the whipped cream.
To make the whipped cream: In a large bowl, or the bowl of a standing mixer, whip the heavy cream on medium high speed until it starts to thicken. Reduce speed to low and sprinkle the sugar into the cream. Turn mixer to high and continue whipping until firm peaks form. Stir in the vanilla.
Assemble: Divide the whipped cream in half and fold one half of the cream into the prepared filling until smooth and glossy. Pour the filling into the prepared pie crust and spread it evenly. Gently spread the remaining half of the whipped cream over the top of the pie, smoothing it with a small offset spatula. Chill for at least three hours. Garnish as desired and serve.
Recipe by Darla