I know. You guys have got to be so sick of hearing about spiders. I’m sorry.
But seriously, they’re so bad here, even the Hubster is getting fed up. He’s fed up with seeing them, he’s fed up with killing them, he’s fed up with me doing the heeby jeeby dance and making odd strangled-screeching kind of shuddering squeals because of them. He’s just fed up.
He says that it’s not just that there’s so many, but that they’re so big, too. We agree that never ever have we ever lived anywhere with so many gosh darned spiders. Ever.
So I told him we should get a cat. Because, for some reason, I just assumed that cats kill spiders. Do they? I don’t even know. It sounded good at the time.
Unfortunately, I’m allergic to cats. A lot allergic. So really, it’s not feasible. The Hubster had another idea, though. He suggested that we get a parrot to kill them.
Did you guys know that parrots are, in the Hubster’s words, “spider killing machines”?!
Me neither. Because they’re not. He was totally effing with me and I bought it hook, line, and sinker. But so did my friend, Tina, who was all like,”Yeah, but they cost like a thousand bucks, and they never shut up, and what about all that poo?” So I don’t feel so bad.
Then Tina suggested I get an owl, which is obviously the best idea ever, and now I want to let Hedwig move in.
I will become a crazy bird lady. (And most likely start trying to fly a broomstick, and send letters with my owl.)
One can dream. For now, I’m just a crazy chocolate lady. I always crave chocolate, but the extent of my desire for more chocolate lately is difficult to put into words. The only way to express it is to share it, so I’m showing you what I made to soothe the chocolate beast. (This in no way solves my spider or my gullibility issues, but what can you do? One problem at a time, people.)
Chocolate cookie dough, with chocolate chips, coated in chocolate, and topped with chocolate sprinkles. On a stick. That’ll do it.
When it comes time to shape these, I like to use a scoop, so that the bites are all uniform in size, but as long as they’re all about an inch in diameter, then it’s all good. Once all of the dough is divided and rolled, it needs to chill for 15 to 20 minutes.
After the bites have chilled, stick a small tasting spoon (I got mine here from The TomKat Studio), or popsicle stick into each one, and return them to the freezer.
Once all of the bites have sticks in them, remove them from the freezer one or two at a time and coat them in melted chocolate or candy melts. I prefer semi-sweet chocolate to keep them rich and chocolate-y, but they’re excellent with white chocolate, butterscotch, and peanut butter, too.
While the chocolate is still wet, sprinkle each bite with mini chocolate chips, sprinkles, or rainbow jimmies. Then pour yourself some strawberry milk, grab a stripey straw, and eat a whole bunch of these, because they are so delicious. So. Delicious.
Since these are eggless, they don’t have to be refrigerated. The kiddo likes them at room temperature, so the middle is softer and more truffle-like. I prefer them cold, because I love the snap of the chocolate coating, and the crunch of the cold chocolate chips inside.
I love that these are no-bake, and they’re so fast and easy to make. Just mix, roll, chill, and dip.
Or really, it’s more like mix, taste, roll, taste, chill, taste, dip, and taste. Oh, and taste again.
Triple Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Bites
Makes 2 to 3 dozen bites, depending on size
2 cups all-purpose flour (use GF flour for gluten free bites)
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/3 cup sugar
4 to 6 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup mini chocolate chips (regular work well too)
1 bag of chocolate chips or candy melts for dipping.
Combine the flour, cocoa powder, and salt in a small bowl; set aside.
In a large bowl, or the bowl of a standing mixer, cream the butter and sugars together until light and fluffy. Stir in the vanilla and about 4 tablespoons of the milk; mix well. Add the flour mixture and mix well until the ingredients are thoroughly combined. If the mixture is too dry, add more milk (it should be the consistency of regular cookie dough). Stir in the chocolate chips until evenly distributed. Cover the bowl and chill for 30 minutes in the refrigerator.
Once chilled, remove the dough from the refrigerator and roll into balls about 1-inch in diameter (you can make them larger or smaller, if desired). Place the rolled cookie dough on baking sheets lined with parchment paper or Silpat mats and chill for another 20 to 30 minutes.
While the rolled dough is chilling, melt some chocolate chips or candy melts for dipping. Push the chilled ball onto a small tasting spoon or popsicle stick and roll it in the melted chocolate to coat it. Tap off any excess chocolate. Place the dipped cookie dough on the prepared baking sheet. If desired, top with mini chocolate chips or sprinkles while the chocolate is still wet. Allow to set up completely before serving.
Recipe by Darla