I mean, I think it’s adorable. From what I gather, the little fella, or gal, pops in to keep an eye on kiddos, and make sure they’re staying outta trouble, yes? The elves report back to the Big Man himself on whether the kids are being naughty or nice.
It’s just that, well, Santa sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so you better be good, for goodness sake…
…which makes an Elf on the Shelf really kind of redundant. But, again, cute, so I’ll give it a pass there.
However, in the meantime, he or she gets into all sorts of messy, mischievous, and sometimes downright shameful shenanigans that any child would be scolded, punished, and even grounded for…
Either Santa’s elves are big ole hypocrites, or I’m missing something.
Doesn’t it make more sense to have the elves do good? I mean, aren’t there fun ways to show kids that they can do good, kind things and be rewarded, rather than setting up these tableaus of naughtiness to be laughed at and possibly emulated.
If the kiddo was still, well, a kiddo, and we decided to do Elf on the Shelf, I would have it feed the dog, fold the laundry, or wash the dishes. I mean, these are chores that the Hubster and I have to do anyway, so what’s the harm in making it look like the elf did it to be kind?
I would make my elf make treats and cards for the kiddo to reward him for a day of good behavior, I would have it giving and rejoicing, to remind us of the true meaning of Christmas.
Personally, I’d kick Chuckles or Snowflake or whatever the heck elf came to my house out if I woke up and found my countertops coated in flour and little elfy snow angels all over them. I mean, I’m the one who has to clean that mess up! I’d send him packing back up to the North Pole with a report of my own on how he’s a cotton-headed ninny muggins.
The only elves welcome in my house are toy makers, shoe cobblers, and cookie and candy makers. Also, any elves that are in the mood to do laundry and dust. Just saying.
Seeing as how I have found no shiny new video games, no beautiful new Christian Louboutins waiting for me, and my kitchen is sorely lacking in the cookie and candy department, I guess the elves know what meanie I am. They haven’t done my laundry or cleaned my house for me either, in case you’re wondering.
I think I prefer I prefer that way. Those little smiles are hiding something, and I don’t trust that
evil glint *ahem* twinkle in their eyes. I’ve seen The Twilight Zone. I know what dolls are capable of.
I’ll stick to making my own cookies and candy, thankyouverymuch.
Case in point: melted snowman lollipops. Read on to learn how easy they are, and you’ll see why we don’t need no
scary stinking sweet, non-murderous elves.
I was inspired to make these fun lollipops by this crafty pin I saw on Pinterest the other day. Cute, huh?
These are so, so easy, and since I used my friend Heather’s lollipop recipe from her beautiful cookbook SprinkleBakes: Dessert Recipes to Inspire Your Inner Artist, you know they’re good.
Once the candy is ready, all you have to do is spoon some of it onto the tops of the lollipop sticks. You don’t have to worry about them being super neat, or perfectly round, since they’re supposed to look all melty; just drop and drizzle the candy however you like.
When you add the candy for the faces, be sure to work quickly, as the candy sets up quite quickly. Drop about three lollipops, then stop and add the candy faces before they harden. I also dressed my guys up with some pale blue disco dust for some snowy sparkle.
Okay, now, when I say these were fast and easy, I’m not kidding even a little bit. I made these in, like, 15 minutes.
Everyone who got one of these fun little guys loved it, and they were all super impressed. Nobody believed they were homemade at first. Not too shabby for something that took no time at all to make.
Plus, they were really fun to make.
Easy Melted Snowman Lollipops
Makes 8 to 10 lollipops
**Be careful while making homemade candy. A candy burn is terrible, terrible, terrible. Trust me.*
1 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup corn syrup
1/3 cup water
1/2 dram (1/2 a bottle) clear flavoring oil
Several drops white food coloring
8 to 10 lollipop sticks
Candy or sprinkles for decorating (I used these for the eyes and mouths, and these – from Sweet SugarBelle, or these for the noses)
Lightly grease a baking sheet with vegetable shortening. Line the sheet with parchment paper, and lightly grease the paper. Lay your lollipop sticks out on the prepared sheet, evenly spaced.
In a small sauce pan, combine the sugar, corn syrup, and water. Bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat to medium high and continue to boil until it reaches hard crack stage (302 degrees) on a candy thermometer.
Remove from heat and stir in flavoring oil. Be careful, as the mixture may sputter. Add food coloring, as desired.
Scoop the candy out using a metal spoon and drop or drizzle it onto the end of each lollipop stick. After making 2 or 3 lollipops, stop and decorate as desired. Continue in this way until all of the candy is used.
If your candy becomes to hard to work with, place the pan back over low heat, and stir gently just until the candy has remelted, then remove from heat and continue making lollipops.
Allow to cool completely before serving.
Recipe from SprinkleBakes: Dessert Recipes to Inspire Your Inner Artist by Heather Baird